How many of you found himself or herself thinking about committing to a religion just to do something? Just to spend time in a way other than just killing it… I remember when I was back in Germany, wasting my time getting drunk, overwhelmed by my dilemma, I turned to God (or Allah) hoping that I could find a way out. As it turns out, it was just another whim. I’ve had so many whims in life. Religion was one of them. Another one was nationalism. Now I am free of both of them (thankfully).
I also remember, when I moved back to my country, I tried to become a Catholic. I explored my options, I was obsessed with it, thinking that being a Catholic would give me a reason to stay alive, to love the world or to get social. In the end, I didn’t convert. I just gave it some time and forgot about it.
I believe, depression can lead to such problems that can damage our social life in an irreversible way. Can you imagine what would happen if I converted to Catholicism? It would damage all my family relations. It was a non-sense idea, just an attempt to find peace in mind. Depression creates a desperate mind which craves for a meaning in life. At least it is how I experience it.
Meaning is a strong word. When you look around yourself, your family, your co-workers… Who has a meaningful life? I guess nobody. But other than you (people like us), everybody is fine with it. They just let it go. Being a slave-worker, being a slave-stay-at-home-mother, being a slave-student is fine for the most of people. But when you are in depression, you kind of realize that the world is not perfect and you need to DO something. And you try and try and try to find something meaningful until you realize there is nothing that makes sense other than killing yourself.
That is why, I still believe that nature is the only salvation out there. If you ever find yourself getting too deep into a religion, stop and think:
You belong to nature and nature only. When you die, you’ll finally become one with the universe again. Right now, your body is separated from Nature and you suffer. Religion might relax you for a brief moment, but it is just a temporary illusion.
To end the suffering, I need to find a permanent way to become one with Nature again. This is what I think. Let me know what you guys think. I’d be happy if you leave a comment below instead of commenting on Reddit. Thanks for reading.
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